Lately one of the biggest emotions of my life has been…

GUILT

Being away from the family. I have this constant fear that I will miss this moment or that ,a gathering or party. Somewhere,I have a feeling that I am being selfish to move somewhere else and not be where my loved ones need me….. moments when my grandpa needs a reminder on his medicine, dad forgetting that one thing while shopping and me running to get it to cover for him ( because afcors mum is not happy) ,if mum’s sick I can cook dinner for that day so she can rest ,also to be there to solve that one math problem or when my brother needs someone to team up against our parents. when they need me the most I am not there, not being able to witness my siblings grow up, to help them slip away from that boring function to have some ice cream and a little more fun.

You can blame others and say mean things if they didn’t do right by you but what to do if you think, you are not kind enough? loving yourself is filled with ups and downs, there is one moment you love and the other its cursing yourself for not making that phone call or forgetting to make that birthday wish. It’s difficult to even think what I will be missing on so many milestones of the people I love. oh! this hasn’t been easy

My friends, I wanna hug them when their heart is hurting if not that I wanna be there on the other side of the line to listen to them and when I am not able to do that, the pang of guilt I get is indescribable.

First I was like that I am just missing them and it will soon pass but I think it is guilt that will keep coming again and again but feeling the discomfort is part of life and I am so on the way to embrace it with all of my heart…. it shows that I am growing and to never take any living moment around your loved ones for granted.

To all my friends and family members, I want to let you know that I miss you guys terribly, love you with all my heart and you have been so kind and understanding with this big shift in my life and I know all of this hasn’t been easy for you either…

If you are around the ones you love hug them a little tighter because its never enough…

Also, I need to address this… Its the longest I have been apart from writing but believe me it was just me getting more familiar with the change in the location and many other things along with that and in these few months of absence I had so many of you guys genuinely text me to ask an update on why I wasn’t posting blogs…. thank you so much for your constant love and support, it really means the world to me.

Let’s chat in the comments section, its been long!! Do like and share.

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